'...but sin that dwells within me.'

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. (Romans 7:15-20 ESV)

I meant to post over the weekend, but I've been a little under the weather...

One of the deeper and more enjoyable theological books I have read is The Parables of Peanuts (the title doesn't do the content justice), written by Presbyterian pastor Robert L. Short. Charles Schultz' characters (there's more than a little Charlie Brown) serve as illustrations for Short's exposition on the fundamentals of Christianity. Schultz, who was raised Lutheran but turned Pentecostal (Church of God), more than once injected Christian theology into his comic strip (most notably, Linus' monologue about the meaning of Christmas in 1965's tv special A Charlie Brown Christmas).

I was flipping through this book this morning and reread pp. 90-91 which deal with our struggle to live a life as both sinner and saint. It's not easy being Christian, to walk the walk (especially when we talk the talk...). The world around us is quick to point a judgmental finger and forgives conditionally. An excerpt:

The heart's slavish and dogged devotion to its idol is what fathers of the Church have called "the bondage of the will." This bondage becomes most painfully apparent in our lives when we earnestly feel the need of changing but cannot; when we are attracted to another value that for one reason or another conflicts with the desires of our true god—that value nearest and dearest to us. But our true god lies so deeply inside us that often we are not even consciously aware of its presence or of what it actually is. Therefore when conflict arises between a god we are not conscious of and some other value that appears, we are miserable, we hate ourselves, and can easily say with Saint Paul: "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. ... For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out." (Romans 7:15,18 ESV).

Calvinist theologian Augustus Toplady (known for composing the Christian standard "Rock of Ages" and for battling John Wesley, a/the founding father of the Methodist Church, over the doctrine of predestination) wrote in his diary on December 31, 1767: Upon a review of the past year, I desire to confess that my unfaithfulness has been exceeding great; my sins still greater; God’s mercies greater than both... My short-comings and my mis-doings, my unbelief and want of love, would sink me into the lowest hell, was not Jesus my righteousness and my Redeemer. 

Rather than wear our faith as some sort of hermetically-sealed spacesuit to keep the sins of the world at bay (which is counter-productive anyway, as we are forever tainted in this world with the, as Paul writes, the "sin that dwells within me."), we should follow our faith just like a Boy Scout follows a compass, knowing all the way that THROUGH FAITH God's Grace will protect us. And where we stumble and fall, God's forgiveness remains unconditional because of Christ Jesus.

It's really not easy being both sinner and saint...

...even a nice guy like Good Ol' Charlie Brown is in need of a Savior, eh?